Rewrite of Chapter One of The Oath Breaker

This is a rough draft of the first chapter of The Oath Breaker. Its a work in progress. I wanted to set the plot up quickly but have a vivid setting.-DavidG

Pulling his cloak around him, Aveion surveyed his troops. The new recruits huddled around the cook fires with the veterans drinking hot wine and laughing at them. Shaking his head at how things never change, he passed the wooden watch towers. Their company were stationed at the southern tip of Grandfather’s Hill, a strategic stronghold that overlooked the Great Northern Mountains. The light snow fall settled on the mass of lined tents. His feet crunched on the frozen snow, as he approached the Commander’s tent at the top of the hill. Untying the flaps, he entered and caused a few of the candles to flicker out. The sizable tent had a brazier piled with red hot coals that heated him. He removed is cloak.

“You’re late,” snapped Commander Filtch, seated at the head of the table and twisting a side of his dangling mustache. “We were about to start without you.”

“Sorry sir. I had to check up on the new recruits,” he said, and took a seat at the table next to Roddick, a fellow lieutenant.

“There is no tolerance for tardiness.”

“Yes, sir.” Aveion and Roddick exchanged a look before focusing back on the detailed map sprawled on the table.

“With the melting snow, we need to be prepared for the seasonal raids,” Filtch said. “Here and here, like last year, need to be fortified.” He jabbed his gnarled fingers onto the map. “Roddick takes the East Ridge and Aveion the West.”

“The supplies that arrived this morning will not last us long,” Roddick said. “A few weeks at most. And we don’t want a repeat of last year’s problems.”

“It is what it is. We’ll see what we can do with the roads but its slow going,” Filtch said.

A sentry ducked his head through the tent and said, “A messenger is here for Aveion.”

“Send him in,” Filtch said, and shot Aveion a questioning look.

Roddick shot Aveion a questioning look.

The boy entered, dusted off a layer of snow from his shoulders, and said, “ Which one is Aveion?”

“That’s me,” he said. The boy handed him a rolled parchment and stepped back.

“You can leave now.” Filtch waved the boy off. “Make sure the sentry gives you a hot meal.”

“Thank you sir,” the messenger said and darted off.

Aveion ran his fingers over his brother’s seal of two crossed wheat plants. His had trembled. It had been years since they had last written to each other. Popping the seal with his thumb, he unraveled the letter. His father was seriously ill and bedridden, he read. If Aveion wanted to make amends, he had better do it soon.

“Anything important?” Filtch asked.

“My Father has fallen ill and near death.” He let the letter roll back up in his palm and slid it into his breast pocket.

There was a pause, then Roddick put his hand on Aveion’s shoulder.

Filtch frowned. “I’m sorry to hear that, but we have pressing matters here. The supply routes should be smoother if we cut the length of-”

Aveion stared at the map but didn’t see it. His father was the hardest man he had ever known and now he was dieing. Aveion could no longer procrastinate facing to reconcile their differences. Ten years was too long.

“Aveion?” Filtch said.

“Fine, sir,” he lied.

Filtch leaned back in his wide chair, cracking his back. “Look, I know you had your falling out with your father but it is done. Having your last name stripped from you is unfortunate and a detriment to your career, but its not the end of the world. Having experienced men like you as a lieutenant is vital and an asset. You could’ve become a general someday but you were dealt this hand and now you must play it.”

“Yes sir,” Aveion replied. “You were saying about the supply lines.”

“Instead of running the routes down these hills, we’re going to use the new trails here.”

Aveion tried hard to focus on his Commander but the lines on the map were swimming in front of him. “Forget the supply lines for now. How long has it been since you were on leave?” Filtch broke off what he was saying after seeing the look on Aveion’s face. “Forget the supply lines for now. How long has it been since you were on leave?”

“Two and a half years,” he said.

“Take a day and visit The Council. By the time you get back, we’ll have everything set up for you.”

“And if The Council accepts my leave?”

“We’ll deal with that when the time comes. For now, I’m going back to my cabin. You two figure out the best options for the new supply routes and have Roddick brief me in the morning.”

“Yes, sir,” they both said, and stood. Filtch put on his heavy white cloak and headed out into the blustery night.

“Did he just give me permission to leave?” Aveion asked.

“I believe so. He’s all hard ass on the outside but he’s got some compassion. So you’re considering leaving?

“Do I want to? No, but I’ve got to give it a try. The worst scenario is that I come back here and nothing has changed.”

Roddick poured them both a drink from Commander Filtch’s wine jug. “It will turn out fine. Its been ten years and I’m sure things have changed,” Roddick said, handing him the glass.

“You don’t know my father,” Aveion said before gulping the wine. He pulled the map closer and scanned it for the best possible supply route.